I’ve been uncertain for so long, but it feels like all of that uncertainty just vanished in a matter of seconds. Saying goodbye to the past, even in less desirable context, is refreshing, liberating. It peels a layer off the world you know and makes everything more beautiful, more colorful.
I am, without question, the luckiest girl in the entire world. I have the most incredible friends and family, and the most caring boyfriend. They are always there for me, no matter what. He makes me smile when the whole world is crashing down around me; is serious when the time calls for it.
What more could I ask for?
Stop all the clocks.
Today was the the first day I’ve felt truly happy in a really, really long time. I was able to step away from myself and things that worry me and really appreciate my life for what it is. To listen to someone who has gone through so much carry on with such a thirst for life is so inspiring. To hear someone wish they had a chance to go back and change things when you yourself still have that chance is heartbreaking, but gratitude inducing. To have someone leave himself raw and vulnerable in front of you is an honor. To tiptoe to the edge of your guarded heart and let yourself fall off is both wonderful and frightening at the same time. But it’s time. I’m ready.
“And memory insists on pining
For places it never went,
As if life would be happier
Just by being different.” (From Summer Storm by Dana Gioia)
I have every reason to hate you. But I don’t. Sometimes I miss you. I don’t know what I want.
Today has not been nearly as enlightening as I wanted it to be. It started out real good, and now it’s just shitty.
Meow.
(via lydiacaron)
(via christingraham)
